Tuesday, October 21, 2008

SMS


Dil ki hasti bikhar gai hoti,aur Ruh ke Zakhm bhar gaye hote,jindagi aap jaise dosto ki amanat hai,varna hum to kabke mar gaye hote...
Wo Dosti hi kya jisme duriya na ho,Wo apnapan hi kya jisme ladai na ho,wo dil hi kya jisme dard na ho,aur wo cell hi kya jisme hamara SMS na ho...
ishq karnay kay bhi kuch aadab hotay hain
khule ankhoun main bhi kuch khuab hotay hain
har koi roo kay dekhai yeh zarore to nahi
khushk ankhoun main bhi selaab hotay hain.
Kai raaz aise hote hai jo kahe ni jate,
kai dil aise hote hai jo tode ni jate,
aur kuch ap jaise DOST hote hai jo chode ni jaate..
Kuch aise din b meri zindagi mei aaye hai..
Aankhe jab roti hai honth muskaraye hai,
sabse jyada jo dur gaye mere daman se,jaane ku sabse adhik yaad wahi aaye hai..

Us Pyari si surat ka phir ek bar didar de, tadap rahe hain hum yahan, ab aur na intazar de, awaz mat suna, ae zalim magar, ek MISSED call to mar de...****
Aasman me itne tare ho ki asma na dikhai de, Aap ki zindagi me itni khushiya ho, ke gam na dikhai de.
Ankhon se dur ho par dil se nahi,Dil me zarur ho par milte nahi, bus yehi gila hai tumse dost, tum milte zarur ho par dil se nahi..
jo asaani se mile wo hai gum,jo mushkil se mile wo hai paisa,jo kisi kisi ko mile wo hai pyaar,jo naseeb walo ko mile wo hai"APUN KA SMS***
Sabne Kaha Dosti ek dard hai,Humne kaha dard kabul hai,sabne kaha is dard ke saath ji nahi paoge,humne kaha teri dosti ke sath marna kabul hai... ***

Andhe ke hath me "TORCH", Bahare ke hath me "RADIO",Gunge ke hath me "MIKE",AUR AAP KE HATH ME "MOBILE"WAH WAH Kya zamana Aaya hai!!!****
Evolution of Man,Shadi se pahale,HERO No.1 Shadi k baad,COOLIE No.1 Shadi se pahale,Meine Pyar Kiya Shadi k bad,Yeh Meine kya kiya****

Kya bindas hawa chal raheli hai, birdy gana ga rahele hain, Cow log grass eat rahele hain, shane log SMS kar rahele hain aur dhakkan log SMS padh rahele hain...
Apko MULAYAM ki akal, LALOO ki shakal, Mayawati ki wani, JAYA ki jawani, KALAM jaise baal, ATAL jaisi chaal mile.. GOOD LUCK****

Aapki yaad me mene kalam uthai,lia kagaz, tasvir apki banayi, socha tha dil se laga ke rakhe us tasvir ko, par wo toh bacchon ko darane ke kaam aayi.

Monday, October 20, 2008

THE LAWS OF ultimate reality


THE LAWS OF ULTIMATE REALITY

Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

Law of Gravity
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire..

Law of Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now

Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

The Starbucks Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Physical Surfaces
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Brown's Law of Physical Appearance
If the shoe fits, it's ugly…

Oliver's Law of Public Speaking
A closed mouth gathers no feet…

Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it…

Doctors' Law
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick…


Thursday, October 2, 2008

Australian letter of the year


A fabulous characteristic of Australians is that we are far more direct and outspoken than others when dealing with the sort of elected whanker who wouldn't otherwise get the full drift of what they were trying to communicate. Below is one such wonderful communication...

Dear Mr. Minister,

I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.

How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone number, and knows that I bought a Television Set and Golf Clubs from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?

My birth date you have in my Medicare information, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 40 years. It is on my driver's licence, on the last eight passports I've ever had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that I've filled out every 5 years since 1966.

Also..would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Audrey, my Father's name is Jack, and I'd be absolutely astounded if that ever changed between now and when I drop dead!!!...

SHIT!...I apologize, Mr. Minister. But I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of all this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my address!! What the hell is going on with your mob? Have you got a gang of mindless Neanderthal arseholes workin' there!

And another thing, look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I can't even grow a beard for God's sakes. I just want to go to New Zealand and see my new granddaughter. (Yes, my son interbred with a Kiwi girl). And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a sheep or a horse, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city, and get another copy of my birth certificate, and to part with another $80 for the privilege of accessing MY OWN INFORMATION!

Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot, to assist in the issuance of a new passport on the same day?? Nooooo.. that'd be too easy and makes far too much sense. You would much prefer to have us running all over the place like chickens with our heads cut off, and then having to find some high society whanker to confirm that it's really me in the goddamn photo! You know the photo...
the one where we're not allowed to smile?! ...you morons

Signed - An Irate Australian Citizen.

PS. Remember what I said above about the picture, and getting someone in high society to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since before 1850! In 1856, one of my forefathers took up arms with Peter Lalor.
(You do remember the Eureka Stockade!!) I have also served in both the CMF and regular Army something over 30 years (I went to Vietnam in 1967), and still have high security clearances. I'm also a personal friend of the president of the RSL.. and Lt General Peter Cosgrove sends me a Christmas card each year.

However, your rules require that I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am; You know.. someone like my doctor; WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN PAKISTAN!!!...... a country where they either assassinate or hang their ex-Prime Ministers, and are suspended from the Commonwealth for not having the 'right sort of government.'

You are all idiots